… and when I lifted myself up to my very Special Place, where time and space exist in my own consciousness, where I am safe to do the Work; I prayed for the understanding for my mistakes, and then I heard:
“Your mistakes are what defines you, because they are the most authentic of you. You do that mistake because you cry to the Universe for help, and that cry is an authentic one. Listen to the authentic part of yourself, and you will no longer do the mistake, because mistake is the Key for the locked door of understanding.”
and will heal
is a composition
of human feelings
too hard to bear
when life is unknown.
Have you ever seen this man, walking around himself, like in circles, mostly outside your building which houses your work,
the place you are stationed and feel that you really need to fit in to?
Well, that man, did the opposite.
This man, when in his youth, wasn`t in the game of accepting to be molded into any type of form. His inner human ached to get out, to be himself, and to do what he really loved.
What he loved, though, wasn`t that easy to fully grasp, cause the listening to the heart of the human being is one of the most challenging aspects it can ever encounter in its life. So it was difficult, quite difficult, to stay true to oneself. This is, simple enough, the reason most of you do whatever you are doing. Or are told to do.
That means trying to be in a geometrical figure completely different from your own.
Metaphorically speaking. Like in metaphoric shapes.
Children are like gold to us;
and diamonds in all sparkling shapes!
They help us to overcome out darkest nightmares
and to fight out deepest fears.
I reach out
for the Sun`s arms
just to find that when I finally
start to relax
I stand up again
– afraid to fall.
I took this talk with my Dragons this evening.
And yes, my Dragons are all mine.
This I understood, while understanding that every human being on Earth is different.
This is how it`s supposed to be. This is us, in disguise for each other, and all is great.
This means that, whatever I want to tell anybody, never will be completely “me”, in perspective from that other Being. With this I mean the Paradox that we are all One, but in different facets of each other. How it all is supposed to be.
So when I took a talk with this one Dragon I have, Zorioth, he just looked at me and smiled in his own way. “Of course we are all yours – forever. You made us, we excist because of you!”
This I didn`t want to hear. Because I feel that they have always excisted, without my help. But he only replied: “Yes, this is true.” The complexity of that sentence, I`m not sure if I ever will understand.
But I still wonder why my book, a little gem from my heart – got rejected, and corrected upon by so many different others. Why it is so, when in fact – my Dragons are perfect as they are.
And so was my way of telling their story. This story about four of them – young ones – growing up – excperiencing – and being whole from this process.
I saw it all – like a movie, and I wrote it down. All this shiny details. The colours in their skin. The Light they projected – everything. Mountains with their Holy view, the magic of the snow, and the mystery of the stars. All in all I got the message of “too much details”. When in fact – this is what I saw.
To try to edit my story was like pulling out my own heart – smashing it a bit, and putting it in again, but only maybe. It was like I was crushed into pieces.
Why did I want to share this story anyway?
Well, because I need you all, who want to mirror me. We are only facets of each other, and therefore I need other people to most of all recognize my own Light.
But why didn`t the ones who read it, like my story? Someone did. Someone just loved it. Someone wanted to correct it.
Why. Why correction. To try to sooth them? To try to merge into others?
But no, I will not do that. Ever.
And this is a problem if I want to earn money on writing.
But my inspiration of writing is in the stars – I long for the stars everyday and therefore it brings me closer to them.
Is it only for me? When, in fact – I feel like sharing – I really do?
Beige coloured silk straws
on the field
Sunshine painting on the top
of the straws
the pillow touches my cheek
and ambient colours
meet other colours and reveals
little secret stitches
in the fabric
My feet are softly laid
on top of the essence
of ambient light.
Cooperation with colourful bricks.
and little laughter
flies into my heart.